Harsh Kanwat

Tag: Mindfulness

  • How doing simple chores can build focus, resilience, and joy.

    Every evening I find myself doing simple household chores, and it is something that I don’t dread but look forward to doing.

    Why? Because there is a limited cognitive bandwidth we have per day, and we cannot do things that require higher cognitive effort throughout the day.

    Therefore, it needs grounding, whose purpose is simply to absorb the emotional and cognitive load we go through during the day.

    I have realized from my life that when I do household chores as a way to relax myself, I feel deeply fulfilled and calm afterward. It allows me to enter a flow state, which makes me feel deeper joy in life.

    And even if I don’t do them, I find myself mostly not utilizing my time for the highest leverage either. I end up mindlessly using my phone, which actually hinders me from doing deep work later on.

    Earlier, I used to dread doing chores. I always tried to do them at a hurried pace, as if I were trying to run away from them. But now I no longer dread them. I actually look forward to doing them to ground myself.

    What changed, and how does it allow me to enter a deep flow state?

    Removing friction — both physical and mental. I no longer listen to music while doing chores. I simply follow the same patterns while doing them, which allows me to enjoy them. I also no longer believe in the narratives sold by the media about them.

    I know doing chores is not going to uplift my life dramatically, but it teaches me the fundamentals that are required in doing things that really matter.

    I don’t consider doing chores as something low, but as something essential to ground my nervous system and transition my energy.

    This helps me embody deeper characteristics in life like humility, patience, and peace, and it allows me to enjoy simple things, which is essential for doing deep work. This shapes my character and helps me contribute more effectively to the world.

    Most days we will find ourselves doing the same work, and therefore learning to enjoy simple things is essential in life.

    Real change always begins with small iterations every day for a long time, until we pause and see how far we have come. This teaches the importance of enjoying the process more than the outcome.

    Let’s face it — we live in a world where the rewards for our efforts are mostly delayed. Therefore, it is crucial to enjoy the normal work we do every day. Nothing grand, just simple work.

    If you are a business owner, you might not see profits for months or sometimes years. If you are an artist, it may take a long time before the world sees your craft.

    Therefore, it is crucial to learn to enjoy the boring work, and doing chores effectively teaches that.

    In short, if someone can enjoy doing chores, then they can enjoy the boredom of their work too. And when they can enjoy their work, their output will be enhanced massively.

    This way, the results become a byproduct, and we train ourselves to extract our sense of meaning and fulfillment from the work itself.

    Ultimately, real fulfillment lies in the work itself. Learning to be fulfilled by one’s work allows one to play an infinite game — relentlessly refining the craft without waiting for validation from others.

  • Hyperconnected World: Do We Need Social Media to Be Social?

    Let’s take a moment to reflect. Have you ever found yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media, only to feel more disconnected than connected?

    In today’s hyperconnected world, it seems like we’re always plugged into something.

    We’re bombarded by information, notifications, and ads, and yet, many of us feel less satisfied, less content, and somehow more anxious. But why?

    Why Are We Unhappy Despite Having So Much?

    Think about it—most of us have more material comforts than past generations, yet we often feel unhappy or dissatisfied. One key reason is overstimulation. Social media makes it so easy to compare ourselves to others.

    Every day we see someone’s dream vacation, new promotion, or perfectly curated lifestyle.

    Even though we logically know these are just highlight reels, we can’t help but feel envious or inadequate.

    But it wasn’t always like this. Previous generations had fewer material goods, but many seemed happier.

    Why? It boils down to this: they weren’t constantly comparing themselves to hundreds of people at once. Their world was smaller and their comparisons were local—to their neighbors, friends, and family.

    In contrast, today’s digital world gives us a never-ending stream of comparisons, making us feel like we’re always behind.

    How Does Social Media Trigger Unhappiness?

    Here’s something interesting: research shows that the more time you spend on social media, the more likely you are to feel emotions like envy.

    Think about it: if you spend hours seeing everyone’s best moments, it’s natural to wonder why your own life doesn’t look the same.

    Psychologists call this the highlight reel effect. People only post the good stuff, but we start to think their lives are perfect while ours are flawed.

    Social media also floods our brains with dopamine, the same chemical that makes us feel good when we eat chocolate or win a game.

    But here’s the catch: social media keeps us craving more. Every like, comment, or notification gives us a hit of dopamine, but when we don’t get that validation, it leaves us feeling anxious or unsatisfied.

    Were Past Generations Happier?

    Let’s go back in time for a minute. Life was undoubtedly tougher in many ways—people worked harder physically, had fewer conveniences, and their lives weren’t documented for the world to see. Yet many were content. Why?

    For one, they were more present. Without smartphones or social media, people spent more time engaged with those around them.

    They weren’t distracted by notifications or overloaded with information. This allowed them to build deeper connections with themselves and others.

    Sherry Turkle, a professor at MIT, argues that digital communication lacks the emotional richness of in-person interaction.

    The older generations had a gift of being able to form strong, face-to-face social bonds that we often lack today.

    Does Social Media Make Us More Social?

    Now, let’s tackle a big question: Do we need social media to be social? The simple answer is ‘no’.

    Yes, social media allows us to stay in touch with people, but it often leads to shallow, surface-level interactions.

    Most people use platforms like Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook to showcase parts of their life or promote businesses rather than build deep connections.

    In fact, studies show that while we may have hundreds or even thousands of “friends” or “followers,” these relationships often lack the depth of real-world friendships.

    Many of us feel lonelier even though we’re constantly “connected.”

    In reality, these platforms are becoming more like marketplaces for attention and less about meaningful connection.

    Jean Twenge, a psychologist, notes that younger generations report feeling lonelier despite being the most connected digitally. This constant comparison and lack of genuine interaction lead to emotional emptiness.

    Conclusion: Reclaiming Authentic Connection

    So, do we need social media to feel connected? Not really.

    What we truly need is deeper, more authentic human connections—ones that go beyond the digital world. By stepping away from the overstimulation and comparison traps of social media, we can start reconnecting with ourselves and those around us in a meaningful way.

    Remember, real connection isn’t about the number of likes, comments, or followers—it’s about the quality of our interactions. So maybe the next time we feel the urge to scroll, we can choose instead to call a friend, enjoy the present moment, or simply take a break from the noise.

  • Navigating Desperation: Finding Balance in the Pursuit of Success.

    In today’s fast-paced world, many of us feel the pressure to set ambitious goals and deadlines, believing that urgency will propel us to success.

    And while there’s value in being driven, I’ve come to realize that desperation is not the answer. Desperation—what I see as “doing too much too soon”—often leads to burnout and, ultimately, failure.

    It disrupts the balance we need in our lives, triggering a fight-or-flight response that can cloud our judgment and make it difficult to think clearly.

    The Paralyzing Effect of Negative Emotions.

    Negative emotions, like anxiety and desperation, can seriously mess with our ability to think straight.

    Studies back this up. For example, research published in the Journal of Neuroscience found that anxiety actually reduces activity in the prefrontal cortex—the part of our brain responsible for decision-making and problem-solving. When this happens, we can feel stuck, unable to find a way forward.

    On top of that, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) teaches us that negative emotions distort our thinking.

    When we’re overwhelmed by desperation, we’re more likely to engage in catastrophic thinking, imagining the worst possible outcomes, which only adds to our sense of helplessness.

    Desperation vs. Enthusiasm: Two Different Paths.

    Desperation often hits when we feel swamped by life’s uncertainties. Instead of being driven by excitement, many of us operate out of urgency and fear. This makes us fragile in the face of setbacks.

    Stephen Covey, the time management guru, called this “crisis management”—a reactive way of dealing with life where we focus all our energy on the latest problem, neglecting other important areas. This lack of balance just creates more crises down the road.

    But there’s a better way: working from a place of enthusiasm rather than desperation.

    Positive psychology, particularly Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of Flow, shows us that when we’re fully engaged and excited about our work, we’re more productive and satisfied.

    Enthusiasm helps us see challenges as opportunities, not threats, making us more creative and resilient.

    Enthusiasm helps us see challenges as opportunities, not threats, making us more creative and resilient.

    The Limits of Our Senses and the Power of Belief.

    One reason desperation is so damaging is that it often stems from our overreliance on our senses.

    We tend to trust only what we can see and touch, but our senses can deceive us. Take the Invisible Gorilla Experiment, for instance. This study shows how easily we can miss critical details, proving that our sensory perceptions are limited.

    This is where belief comes into play. Cognitive dissonance research tells us that people often struggle to accept ideas that contradict their sensory experiences, which limits what they think is possible. To truly succeed, we need to believe in possibilities that aren’t immediately visible, breaking free from the limitations of our senses.

    Overthinking Isn’t the Problem—Overreacting Is.

    We’ve all heard that overthinking leads to anxiety and indecision.

    But what if it’s not the thinking that’s the issue, but the way we react to our thoughts? Cognitive Load Theory suggests that when our brains are overloaded with information, we get mentally fatigued, which can make it hard to think clearly.

    This isn’t about too much thinking—it’s about emotional overreaction to the situation.

    Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help us counter this overreactive state.

    Research shows that mindfulness reduces emotional reactivity, helping us approach problems with a calm, deliberate mindset.

    It supports the idea that thinking is a skill we need to develop, rather than something that just happens on its own.

    Creating a Balanced Life: The Real Key to Fulfillment.

    So what’s the big takeaway here? Balance is everything. Success isn’t about pushing yourself harder or faster out of desperation; it’s about finding equilibrium in your life.

    You need to give attention to all the important areas—work, personal life, self-care.

    Research in organizational psychology shows that people who manage to maintain this balance are more likely to achieve long-term success and fulfillment.

    In conclusion, if you want to lead a fulfilling life, avoid the trap of desperation. Focus on developing a balanced approach to work and life. Cultivate enthusiasm, believe in possibilities that aren’t immediately obvious, and keep your emotions in check.

    Success isn’t just about ambition; it’s about thoughtful, balanced effort.