Harsh Kanwat

Tag: Self Improvement

  • The Purpose Delusion: How Society Traps You in a Fake Quest.

    How many times have you been told to find your purpose?

    Society, culture, and self-help books all seem to emphasize this idea, as if purpose is some hidden treasure waiting to be discovered. Yet, most people struggle with it. Some search their whole lives, while others assume their job title or role in society is their purpose.

    But what if we’ve been thinking about purpose the wrong way?

    In this article, I want to offer a different perspective—one that might help you see purpose in a new light and, more importantly, recognize it in your own life.

    A Simple but Powerful Question

    There’s one question I often ask myself when reflecting on purpose:

    If I had been born 1,000 years ago, would my purpose still be the same?

    Think about it.

    Would your purpose change if you lived in ancient times, in a different culture, or under completely different circumstances?

    If your answer is yes, then what you’re calling “purpose” might just be a career or a role you’ve attached yourself to. But if your answer is no, then you’re closer to understanding something deeper—because real purpose isn’t about what you do, but why you do it.

    The Trap Most People Fall Into

    Here’s where many people get stuck. They focus too much on what they want to do—becoming a doctor, an artist, a business owner—without questioning why they are drawn to it in the first place.

    And that’s a dangerous trap.

    Because when life throws challenges at you (which it will), or when you start feeling lost (which happens to everyone), you may begin to question your entire sense of purpose.

    This is why many people feel unfulfilled, even after achieving their dreams. They work hard to reach a goal, only to realize it doesn’t bring them the deep satisfaction they expected.

    Why?

    Because they never connected with the why behind their actions.

    And when you don’t have a strong why, you risk becoming just another average person in your field—an average doctor, an average artist, an average entrepreneur.

    But those who tap into their why—the deeper reason behind their work—are the ones who become truly exceptional.

    Purpose: Internal, But Expressed Externally

    Now, let’s go back to that original question.

    Would your purpose be different if you lived 1,000 years ago?

    Here’s why this question matters:

    Purpose is not tied to external circumstances. Whether you live in an era of war or peace, whether you’re a warrior, a philosopher, or a businessperson, your purpose remains the same—it simply finds different expressions.

    Purpose is not about doing—it’s about being. What you do may change over time, but the why behind it is constant.

    Purpose is about self-expression, not a job title. Too many people define themselves by their careers, but purpose is much bigger than that.

    Your real purpose is about using life as a field of experience to grow and evolve. The roles you play along the way are just expressions of that deeper purpose.

    Forget the “What.” Start With “Why.”

    Many people think of purpose as some grand, external thing they need to chase. But the truth is, purpose isn’t something you find—it’s something you recognize within yourself.

    It’s not about asking what you want to do. Instead, ask:

    Why do I feel pulled toward this path?

    Why does this matter to me?

    Why do I feel most alive when I do this?

    When you start with why, everything else begins to make sense.

    A Real-Life Example

    Let’s say someone is considering becoming a politician but isn’t sure if it’s the right path.

    If they ask themselves, “Why do I want to be a politician?”, they’ll come up with logical reasons—some for, some against. But this kind of reasoning alone won’t reveal their true purpose.

    Instead, they should ask:

    Do I believe the world is heading in the wrong direction?

    Do I feel an urge to create change?

    Do I feel most alive when I help solve big problems?

    If the answer is yes, then politics is just one way to express their purpose. If not, then politics is just an idea, not a calling.

    This applies to every career, every ambition, every dream. Purpose isn’t about the specific job—it’s about the underlying reason that drives you.

    Final Thoughts: Purpose Is Already Within You

    Here’s what I hope you take away from this:

    Your purpose is not a job title. It’s not a career path. It’s not something you need to find.

    It’s already within you.

    The world will constantly try to define your purpose for you—based on money, status, or social expectations. But the real question is:

    Will you let them?

    Purpose isn’t about what you do. It’s about why you do it. And when you truly understand your why, the what will take care of itself.

  • Hyperconnected World: Do We Need Social Media to Be Social?

    Let’s take a moment to reflect. Have you ever found yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media, only to feel more disconnected than connected?

    In today’s hyperconnected world, it seems like we’re always plugged into something.

    We’re bombarded by information, notifications, and ads, and yet, many of us feel less satisfied, less content, and somehow more anxious. But why?

    Why Are We Unhappy Despite Having So Much?

    Think about it—most of us have more material comforts than past generations, yet we often feel unhappy or dissatisfied. One key reason is overstimulation. Social media makes it so easy to compare ourselves to others.

    Every day we see someone’s dream vacation, new promotion, or perfectly curated lifestyle.

    Even though we logically know these are just highlight reels, we can’t help but feel envious or inadequate.

    But it wasn’t always like this. Previous generations had fewer material goods, but many seemed happier.

    Why? It boils down to this: they weren’t constantly comparing themselves to hundreds of people at once. Their world was smaller and their comparisons were local—to their neighbors, friends, and family.

    In contrast, today’s digital world gives us a never-ending stream of comparisons, making us feel like we’re always behind.

    How Does Social Media Trigger Unhappiness?

    Here’s something interesting: research shows that the more time you spend on social media, the more likely you are to feel emotions like envy.

    Think about it: if you spend hours seeing everyone’s best moments, it’s natural to wonder why your own life doesn’t look the same.

    Psychologists call this the highlight reel effect. People only post the good stuff, but we start to think their lives are perfect while ours are flawed.

    Social media also floods our brains with dopamine, the same chemical that makes us feel good when we eat chocolate or win a game.

    But here’s the catch: social media keeps us craving more. Every like, comment, or notification gives us a hit of dopamine, but when we don’t get that validation, it leaves us feeling anxious or unsatisfied.

    Were Past Generations Happier?

    Let’s go back in time for a minute. Life was undoubtedly tougher in many ways—people worked harder physically, had fewer conveniences, and their lives weren’t documented for the world to see. Yet many were content. Why?

    For one, they were more present. Without smartphones or social media, people spent more time engaged with those around them.

    They weren’t distracted by notifications or overloaded with information. This allowed them to build deeper connections with themselves and others.

    Sherry Turkle, a professor at MIT, argues that digital communication lacks the emotional richness of in-person interaction.

    The older generations had a gift of being able to form strong, face-to-face social bonds that we often lack today.

    Does Social Media Make Us More Social?

    Now, let’s tackle a big question: Do we need social media to be social? The simple answer is ‘no’.

    Yes, social media allows us to stay in touch with people, but it often leads to shallow, surface-level interactions.

    Most people use platforms like Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook to showcase parts of their life or promote businesses rather than build deep connections.

    In fact, studies show that while we may have hundreds or even thousands of “friends” or “followers,” these relationships often lack the depth of real-world friendships.

    Many of us feel lonelier even though we’re constantly “connected.”

    In reality, these platforms are becoming more like marketplaces for attention and less about meaningful connection.

    Jean Twenge, a psychologist, notes that younger generations report feeling lonelier despite being the most connected digitally. This constant comparison and lack of genuine interaction lead to emotional emptiness.

    Conclusion: Reclaiming Authentic Connection

    So, do we need social media to feel connected? Not really.

    What we truly need is deeper, more authentic human connections—ones that go beyond the digital world. By stepping away from the overstimulation and comparison traps of social media, we can start reconnecting with ourselves and those around us in a meaningful way.

    Remember, real connection isn’t about the number of likes, comments, or followers—it’s about the quality of our interactions. So maybe the next time we feel the urge to scroll, we can choose instead to call a friend, enjoy the present moment, or simply take a break from the noise.